Watching Survivor

Sorry for the delay, ya’ll! My EST hookup is on vacation and I’ve had a hella time getting my head above water today for some reason. I’m here though - and here’s the recap you’ve been waiting for…

We start out at Forza, on night 21. Everyone is up late, around the campfire, and Coach tells us that it sucks that Joe left and there was a funk, and he decided to lift their spirits, and share a piece of his life with them, show them that no matter how bad things get in your life, there’s something that will make it worse. Nice.

He tells them that only 3 people know the story, and goes into this tale of being in the rapids of the Amazon and being captured by indigenous people, tortured and beaten with a club, and they were going to kill him and he managed to escape, and how he can’t describe the feeling of being stalked..

Debbie tells us that no one said a word, no one offered a reality check, until Brendan asks the simple question “how do you get a military drop off for free?” to which Coach says he pulled strings, and he turned down National Geographic who wanted to go with him because the trip was about him.

Brendan doesn’t believe him anymore.
(Neither do I. But that’s some comedy gold RIGHT THERE people!)

Roll Title Sequence and Commercial!

Day 22 at Forza, and Coach is doing his little meditation Tai Boa thing in the water, and I gotta say these sequences make give me the LOLz big time. Those watching mock his warrior poses, and say don’t bother him, he won’t bother them. JT tells us that he’s in the power alliance, and brenden is going home, even though they’re targeting him.

Coach rejoins and says he’s doing “Chau Ram” and if you google it you won’t find it, because it’s only passed down verbally, at a monestary where he studied it. Seirra tells him he looked ridiculous. Coach then tells us once again that Brendan is the dragon, he is the dragonslayer, and that Sierra is next to go because she is - wait for it - the bowel movement that comes out of the dragon.

…oh my.

Coach is certain he’s in charge of the game, like hes been born to do. Oh Coach, how I will enjoy your downfall!

It’s time for some fishing, and Erinn chats it up with JT, talking about Joe and how she liked him and they miss him, and she likes everyone - she likes his tribe better than her own. She says she has no alliance, anymore, she only had Joe. She tells us that in her tribe, she knew she was the first one out, but now there’s new kids that need her vote, and being able to have some manuevering room is really nice. JT tells us that Erinn’s vote would be huge - Taj, Steven, himself and Erinn can turn things around now if they need too.

Challenge time!
They will be divided into teams of three - each team has one row of 8 tiles, and on his go, one team member will toss a ball tot ry and bust out the tiles of opposite team. Last team standing gets to go white water river rafting, and a picnic with sandwiches, brownies and chicken wings, and the winner chooses one member to go to exile alone. Coach is excited, feels he has it made.

The teams are:
Red: Coach, Taj, Tyson
White: Sierra, steven
Black: Debbie, brenden, jt

Steven and Coach take out two tiles on the black team first, up. Brendan asks why they’re going for black, and Taj says the team is stacked - Brenden points out they’re throwing underhand at tiles, no one’s done it before. Coach says, naturally “I have!”

They keep tossing and breaking, and Sierra is on fire, connecting, Taj is happy when she finally takes one out, until it’s 1 red, 2 black, 2 white left. Erinn tries to take out the last red tile, and does so - and Coach is UPSET. Brenden smiles. Sierra tries to put the black team out - but is short, as Brenden takes out another white tile. Black vs. white with one tile left. Erinn and JT toss and miss, Debbie and Steven are up, and both miss again. Sierra and Brenden are up, and sierra misses, Brenden only chips the tile, doesn’t knock it off. Errin and JT are up - Erinn breaks the black tile but it does not fall! It cannot get any closer then this. Steven and Debbie are up, and both miss…Coach is looking pissed off by the minute, as Brenden knocks out the white team, and Black team wins reward - JT, Debbie and Brenden!

Coach. Is. Pissed.

They send Steven to exile and Coach tells him to “be the wizard, Steven, be the wizard.” Mmmmmkay. The reward is the next day, everyone else goes back to camp. Coach bitches about wanting to be on the river since he’d go there, and Tyson tells us that it worked out well, Brenden won’t be able to scheme with his two strongest alliance members by his side. They just have to win Immunity.

At Exile Stephen is alone and gets the final clue to the same idols that they know about, so he knows there isn’t a new one in the game. He’s concerned about being there, because he hasn’t managed to make fire yet at camp, he’s embarassed to have failed. He knew here he’d make fire, make food or die. It looked like he might die, but after a couple of hours, he finally gets a flame, and makes fire! He’s so excited, it’s cute! He tells us it was like giving birth to his first child, and was so proud of his little fire he wanted to stay out there and tend to it for the rest of his life. It’s like winning his own reward. Awww.

Speaking of rewards - time to watch the winners do some white water river rafting. JT looks like a kid on Christmas morning! He tells us that it was a blast, it’s something he’s always wanted to do forever and he “felt jus’ like a little kid!” Brenden tells us it was so much fun and the pure joy on JTs face was awesome, he has qualities that you want in people surrounding you. They find a sandbar where their picnic is set out, and Debbie is all kinds of excited about the chips and brownies, and says it’s the best food in the world. JT says it was a really good day - he thought it mighta been dull with Brenden, but it wasn’t. While Debbie washes up, Brenden says that he has some ideas to keep JT in the game. Brenden says that if he takes JT to the finals, JT would beat him, and he says he wants to be satisfied, and even if JT wins it, it will satisfy him. So he needs to get him there.

Day 24 at Forza, and Brendan says he stayed up all night thinking about how to get JT to the finals, and the pieces fell togethe. He takes Sierra off, and talk about keeping JT, how they had fun and he’s amazing. She agrees, and he says that it should be them, taking out Tyson, Coach and Erinn. Sierra tells us that she respects JT too, and they want to get Coach and Tyson. Brenden says he knows how to keep him, no problems.

Brenden takes Taj out next, and asks if she wants to change the game, and works it out - he wants her to trust her. Taj says that Timbira might mean confused, cuz Coach and Tyson want to blindside Brenden, and Brenden wants to blindside them, so they don’t have to really do anything, just let them take out their own members. They agree they want to keep JT, cuz he’s Teh Awesome.

Immunity Challenge time!

Steven rejoins, and says that he had a couple days alone, but it wasn’t that bad, he made big fires, not much sleep but alright. Today’s challenge - tyson says the necklace is too gaudy, but he’ll take it back again soon. They’ll be attached to a long rope and thy have to manuever around, over, under the obstacles. First three to finish the first set move on to the 3 story high set, first one to finish wins.

Survivors ready? GO!

Jeff tells them there is a learning curve to the challenge, but no shortcuts. JT is off to a quick start, as is Tyson, and Debbie isn’t far behind, doing very well. Coach starts off well, sierra hangs in there, Taj is in dead last, Stephen not much better. Tyson and JT are battling it out right now, Sierra following, with Brendan right behind. Coach is stuck and frustrated “Nothing prepared him for the rope-a-dope!” BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT! HAHAH!

Tyson and JT are in very good shape, flinging themselves over and under and around, Brenden onto the last obstacle, as is Sierra, who will finish? Tyson and JT are close - Brenden takes a bit of a lead over Sierra - JT is across first, Tyson net, and in a final push, Brenden beats out Sierra to take the last spot and move on - even as he lost a shoe!

Tyson, Brendan and JT take on the larger obstacle for Immunity. There’s bodies being launched everywhere, tyson is off to an early lead, JT right behind him, moving neck and neck, until Brenden takes the lead! Tyson makes up some ground, and it’s neck and neck, Brendan and Tyson, and tyson overtakes him and flies through to win immunity again!

Coach says Tyson saved the day, making sure that Brenden goes home - they’ll split the votes, 3 for Sierra, 4 for Brenden, he’s the dragon, Coach is the dragon slayer. Brenden says that it’ll be nice to have Coach outa there, he thinks.

(I think so too - though WHO WILL WE MOCK if that happens?!)

Fora, day 24. Everyone congratulates Tyson, and Stephen brags about getting his fire started, and that it was awesome and a big step for him. Coach says the Wizard is coming to the Man in the Mountain - or something. Weird. Tyson verifies that he has the votes to get Brenden out, he’d set it up days ago. He quickly tells everyone around the fire who to vote for Brenden and who’s Sierra, and that everyone is in. Tyson tells us that if Brenden plays his idol, then Sierra’s gone and Brendens gone in three days - but he wants him gone first so that he can boss Sierra around and tell ehr to shut up - won’t win her vote, but probably win everyone elses vote so it’s win win.

Brenden talks to Sierra, Steven and JT, and that they’re going after Coach along with taj. They tell him it’s awesome and will go well. Brenden says that it’ll be the biggest blindside of the game. JT takes off and talks to Stephen and how Brenden and him bonded and he wants to take him to the finals, and they think that it’s the time to get to Coach, and JT says that he’s crazy, that story was crazy, and he’d go back with a gun and see what they do then. JT and Stephen say they’re in control of the game now. JT can go with Brenden, or he can get rid of Brenden, the ball is in his court.

Brenden says he doesn’t like misleading people, but that its ok now. There is a quick gathering at the fire, and passing it around that it’s JT, and everyone standing there is lying to everyone else, and it’s a beautiful Survivor Moment. Coach tells us he’s happen, Leaders are born, and when it comes head to head, who is the chosen one - it’s gonna be Coach Wade.

Tribal Council time!

Jeff asks who keeps the tribe laughing, and Erinn says Tyson, he’s the class clown. Who tells the best campfire stories? JT says Coach, and Taj tells the amazon story, and it was so unbelievable, and Jeff asks if it was real or the movie version of what he wanted to happen - and Coach says he TONES IT DOWN because he doesn’t want to tell them the tribe was looking at his ass to eat his ass - and then goes on tos ay he doesn’t care what they think, he’s had 5, 6, 7 or 8 life or death situations, and it doesn’t bother him if theyw ant to question, he’s playing the game with integrity and honesty, that’s how he plays his life too. HA!

Coach says he is confident in tonights vote, and Tyson says that everyone will rethink strategies if Timbira member goes hom. Steven says he just hopes he has enough time to get to know people. Taj says the most physically threatening are the biggest challenge, adn JT is a triple threat. Coach says teh 7 layers of heaven of Vikings were determined by how they died in battle, and he wants to surround himself with warriors, it’s the honorable way. brenden says just because yours trong doesn’t mean you go far.

Tyson figures everyone who’s been to the island has the idol. Jeff asks everyone if they have it and Brenden says yes, I have it! Thanks for clearing that up, Brenden!

It’s time to Vote. Cannot vote for Tyson, everyone else is fair game.
Coach says the ancient samari used to say that to win the war you had to cut off the head of the dragon, brendan is the dragon and (ALL TOGETHER NOW) Coach is the dragon slayer. Goodbye.

Stephen says “This is my wizard lightening, shooting you back home. Kapow!” Ok…. Time to tally the votes. Brendan reaches for… his water, and does not play the idol. STUPID.

The votes: Coach, Coach, Brendan, Brenden, Brenden, Sierra, Sierra, Sierra, and the first member of the jury is… Brenden!

Coach smugly smiles, as does Tyson, and Branden says good luck, and walks off. he didn’t even bring his bag with him. Jeff says that by the look at the smiles, it was a big blindside, so much for old tribal loyalties, this is clearly an individual game.

Next time, on Survivor - Sierra fights for her life. She talks to Tyson and tries to explain she wasn’t the mastermind - tyson says “I know you weren’t, you aren’t smart enough.” Ouch. Can she save herself? Coach says it kills him to have the kid there asking to throw her a bone, it breaks her heart.