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Pirate Master! Episode 6: Lambs to the Slaughter.

by Lessa

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[Sorry this is a bit late, fellow Pirates! Our power went out last night, and try as I might, I could not manage to post without the computer working! I know, right? So, here you are, at last!]

After yet another long recap of the previous episode, filling us in, just in case we missed two seconds of the last episode, we open this week just after the Pirates Court, where people are already bemoaning the loss of their cook. Sean.

Nessa makes a comment that she’s likely now the brokest pirate on the ship. Joy is starting to worry about the apparently Boys Club in the captain’s quarters, where Azmyth, Jay and Ben are pulling the strings. Dare we hope the girls will step it up and start winning things away from the men?

Which of course is the perfect timing to take a peek at the Boy’s Club who are excited for their victory that apparently went perfectly. Azmyth is pleased to keep The Triad loyal, simply by his personality.

The girls, Joe Don and Louie are talking about how pretty they think a female captain would work. Laurel is talking about the boys and exactly about what I mentioned before - they need a Female captain with an all girl crew who chooses which boy to pick off. My only question is this: Do the girls think they are strong enough? We’ve seen throughout that they can’t really hold their weight, needing constant pushing. This does not bode well for the Azmyth haters out there. (And how can you hate a guy that looks and talks like Azmyth? Seriously??)

The next morning has the pirates hoisting their sails once again, to head off toward the next treasure hunt. While the captain remains downstairs sleeping. Joe Don is unhappy and thinks the captain just doesn’t have the leadership qualities. Azmyth is kind of showing his airhead roots. He goes to the kitchen to try and apologize to Azmyth. She, however, has no respect for him, just nods and plays along, while plotting his demise! She has no sides - but for her own, the one that wants Azmyth gone.

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Pirates to the Quarter Deck!
It’s time to find the next treasure to add to their 147k they’ve already brought aboard. This one is hidden by the Bulson, Time to pick crews!

Black Crew: Azmyth, Ben, Jay, Laurel, Krista, and Joy
Red Crew: louie, joe don, Nessa Kendra and Jupiter

No longboats this time! They must swim to shore, which has Joy and Kendra already a liability. The teams seem pretty even as they jump into the water and head off to the shore through “trechorous waters” which don’t seem all that treatchorous at all. Joe Don sticks with Kendra, has her grab the flag and literally pulls her to shore, where the Red Team takes first, with the Black Crew just seconds behind.

At the Ruins, Jay finds the ladder and clue for the Black Team. The red team is right on their heels again! The clue points them to a steep path they must climb, while carrying the ladder, to a wrecked longboat that holds their next clue.

The Black Crew puts Joy in charge of the map, putting her in front, hoping that the crew behind her will push her forwarded. Red Crew is working together, and seeing Joe Don step up and really keep encouraging his team and pushing them is really good to see. He didn’t come off as a total asshole this week. Meanwhile Jay is pushing joy hard, and she’s begging for water, though he keeps pushing her along, alternately chiding and encouraging.

The Black crew finds the wrecked long boat first, and untie he seats which has a map to where there’s a tree with their key hanging from it. They have to hang the ladder, and untie the key. At the trees, both teams are once again even. Louie goes up the ladder and starts searching, unable to find the key that’s hanging by his knee. Azmyth is rocking the knot as he unties the Black Crew’s Key. Someone finally sees the key by Louie’s foot, and he gets it untied in no time flat “What kind of knot maker is this joker?”

The Black Crew is ahead, practically dragging Joy along the trail. Krista swears that if she doesn’t move her ass she’s going to get a black mark. Everyone’s pleased with Krista who’s like “A Barbie on Steroids. Can’t judge that book by it’s cover!”

They have to climb over many ladders up to a rickety rope bridge, where they have to scrub the boards at their feed to find the clue to the treasure. “Off the bow, portside, treasure” are the words revealed and the Black Crew is pulling farther ahead, they find a rock, with a ship marked on it, and they know the treasure is on the other side, and Azmyth and Ben recover the treasure once again!

The Red Crew, hearing the shot, are pretty bummed about it, and understandably so. They weren’t even at the sight of the treasure yet when they heard the cheering.

Back at the Picton Caster, everyone climbs aboard, shivering in the dark. Cameron Daddo reminds Cameron how the pardon works, and they head downstairs to await further orders. Then it’s time to welcome the Black Crew back to the ship, where they count out $40k. Downstairs Louie apologizes for his part in slowing them down, but he’s still is cheerful. Joe Don knows he’s up against the wall again. Upstairs Azmyth opts to keep his officers, and then downstairs in the Captains cabin, Azmyth decides to keep a larger share for themselves this time, splitting the take 60/40 instead of 50/50. Most folks are surprised, because Azmyth’s biggest beef with Joe Jon was his refusal to split the pot evenly. Joe rolls her eyes, and says the blue coat changes people.

Yeah, like gives them a funky accent!

The talking and plotting continues in the Captain’s quarters, they want either Joy or Kendra gone. Ultimately they decide they don’t care which girl goes, but one has too. They put up Joe Don next to the girls, knowing he likely will win the Royal Pardon, and they win with one of the two weakest crew members gone.

Nessa and Joe Don are talking and hanging out in the bow, going through who they like and don’t, and if Joe Don looks better in long or short hair. Then the smooching. It’s the first Pirate Showmance! Awww….ewwwww….

Jay makes his move on Nessa and all but threatens her in order to have her vote their way, and get rid of Joy who he describes as a “dead person on two legs”. Ness don’t like being told what to do. Everyone loves Joy, of course, who always brings a smile to peoples faces even if she’s very slow.

The Crew knows, however, that they will be SOL if Joe Don goes, as that would leave Louie alone to do the heavy lifting with/for the crew. Louie is upset because he said he’d never vote with a lady, but he has too tonight, because otherwise is to get rid of Joe Don, and Louie needs him to go after Louie.

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Pirates Court!
Captain Azmyth tells the chosen ones why he marked them. Kendra is one of the slower pirated. Joy, they love Joy, but there’s the case of ’slowerness’ and there’s no time to beg for water. And Joe Don, is definitely not a weak Pirate by any means and is a treat.

Joy says she understands that she may be the weak one, but she never gives up. Do what’s in your heart. Krista says that Joy didn’t perform well, but confirmed she kept going.

Kendra says that out of 6, she’s been on 4 winning crews, and she doesn’t believe that her being at the back is a problem. Someone will always be at the back, she just makes sure her back is no farther behind then 10 feet from their backs. Juliter says that Kendra isn’t as up to par as everyone else, but on the flip side, she doesn’t stop.

Joe done opens his comments with the cocksure attitude “I am a threat. I’m a big threat. I don’t blame you for putting me down here. I’m gunning for you man, keep looking over your shoulder, I’m going to pass you.” He continues to point out that the crew will need his help, it seems like an easy choice. Louie looks morose because he has thousands of reasons to keep each crew member, and no clear reason to vote for them.

Time to Vote! (Cue Music!)
There are no mutiny cards. Joe Done bought the pardon for 12k, though he didn’t need it, as there were no votes for him, either.

It comes down to a ¾ vote, and Joy is cut adrift to float away with only the lantern and camera crew to keep her company. In her goodbye, she says she always gave her 110% - which is a little amusing giving her stopping and begging for water on the expedition.

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Tune in next week, for more Pirate Master Fun!

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