Pirate Masters Ep 3: Death by Coconut

We open this week just after the previous Pirate’s court, Cheryl grateful for Joe Don’s standing up for her. Jay isn’t happy because Sean didn’t follow his word to vote for Cheryl. Sean apologizes to Jay, but he doesn’t go for it, saying in confessional that Sean is now dead to him for going back on his word.
Captain Azmyth gets the crew up and started swabbing the decks, and Nessa admits to being a total flirt, and how she’d totally use that to her advantage. Joy points out the flaw in that logic - the boys are outnumbered currently, and that strategy might end up biting her in the ass.
Azmyth takes a flying leap (literally - swinging off the side on a rope to dive into the water), and initiates crab races, and it seems like life on the Picton Castle is a big party. Ben is worried a bit, as live as Pirates shouldn’t be fun! Joe Don was a hard taskmaster, but he was a good Captain because of it! Awww… Poor Ben - he misses his coat and cooshy bed!
So Azmyth’s plan is to… talk with God. And breathe. While Laurel makes fun of his accent, because he’s a weirdo from Seattle.
Good Plan!
Time to pull up anchor and head to the next treasure hunt and the Pirates are called to the Quarter Deck. The treasure was hidden by the Master Craftsman, a shifty dealmaker who never missed an opportunity to catch his own reflection.
Black Crew: Azmyth, Jay, Jupiter, Laurel, Krista, Cheryl and Joe Don
Red Crew: Louie, Ben, Joy, Kendra, Nessa and Sean.
Sean was upset as they had the weakest girls and was worried because the black crew was quite power heavy. The crews go to the long boats, and off they go!
The pirates will go to shore near an Anchor and head to the trail in the jungle, where the sabotage seems to be a rockslide. OH! COCONUTS! Death by COCONUT! I get it! Ahem.
Red Crew was ahead until the run, where the black crew overtakes them one by one and sets off the sabotage, which catches Joy in the downfall. Which starts her crying, but she keeps going, and the Red Crew works together to get over the coconuts, and move on.
Next, the crews must find the crocs head landmark, to find their next clue. Everyone is amazed as it turns out it looks like the ocean had carved two crocks heads into the bluff!
Black Crew finds the clue first, reads it and starts to look for the hidden cave where a reflection will show them where to dig for the treasure. They find it first, and discover the map and finds where the x marks the spot. Red Crew is behind. Black crew goes back to the anchor, where they discover that Azmyth may have made a mistake, and as he’s the only one who saw the clue, they decide to head back to look at the clue again because they are finding nothing down the beach from the anchor. Azmyth is still confident though; “Make me walk the plank if I’m wrong!”
Louis is determined not to be the last man, always having someone slower then him - and even takes the chance to grab a little ass. He even swears to do it again if Nessa slips again! I love Louie!
Red Crew makes it to the Anchor, and digs right down around it, not wasting time as they dig and dig. Louie giggles, “There’s no Black Crew anywhere!” and they are still digging, digging, digging - Black Crew gets there, and starts to dig as well. It’s a big anchor - it’s down to who’s digging in the right place… who will find it first….
Black team gets excited THEY GOT IT! THEY GOT IT!
Wait… no. They got a rock…. and that’s when Red Crew REALLY gets it, and wins! Louie is excited - another win means another chance to get rid of Joe Don and cut him adrift!
Back at Picton Castle, the Red Crew returns and Joy is bouncing because she didn’t mess it up! They open the treasure and start counting, even as they find a secret compartment. The treasure is only $5000. Ouch. Sean’s annoyed and frustrated. They vote Louie the captain, unanimously and he picks Sean and Nessa as his crew. Reasoning - Louie doesn’t want to have to go against Sean man to man because he’s “a raw beast” and Nessa’s a little rabbit, she can run and is smart and thus an advantage to have on his side.
The secret compartment contained a Royal Pardon. Whoever has the Pardon cannot be set adrift at Pirates Court. It belongs to captain, and the crew can bid on the Pardon, but all bids must be in before the black dots are chosen. At Pirates Court, the winning bid will be revealed, and the money must be paid whether it ends up needed or not. If the owner doesn’t use it - it must be sold before the next Pirates Court.
Louie decides to split the take evenly among the crew, as he feels it should be. That’s the reason he hates Joe Don so much anyway, because he always kept his full half instead of sharing! Then the talk turns to the Pardon. They have the votes to get rid of Joe Don, but then he can either leave, or buy the Pardon. Perhaps they should make him pay out the ass for it…
Good plan!
Sean lets the rest of the Pirates in on the Pardon, and explains how it will work. Joe Don tries to turn eyes onto Louie, and tries to feel out how much everyone has and what kind of money he’ll have to spend to get that Pardon. Joe Don goes to Jay and tries to feel that out as well, and basically says if he is spotted, that their pack is done completely. Jay gets pissed and says screw it, I’m done with you. Then Jay tells the rest of the crew what went down, and everyone decides to put all their treasure up to try and keep the pardon out of Joe Don’s hands.
Louie says his mission in life is to get rid of Joe Don, and if he can’t get him, then he’ll take anyone close to him. This means Cheryl is also a target - for the fact that she’s strong, but more so because she’s Joe Don’s friend. Azmyth is the fallen captain, Louie expects his name will be dotted when he falls, and it makes sense to do it that way.
Asmyth is 99.9% sure he’s safe, Cheryl is upset because it’s not that she’s being lazy or anything, and that makes her sad. It makes Jupiter sad too. Joe Don gets the third, and expected black spot.
Jon Don and Jay are talking again, already. Jay tells him if he didn’t get that Pardon, he’s likely gone. Of course, Jay had everyone trying to buy it up…. just how many pacts does Jay have, and with who?!
Its time for Pirates Court!
Louie admits that he doesn’t like the blue suit, because he knows folks will be gunning for him. He’s honest about why he’s chosen Azmyth, and Cheryl and straight up says he has a grudge of Joe Don. He doesn’t like the blue jacket, but it has its perks by black spotting Joe Don. Though it’s the Pirates Code, no captain is worth half the take.
Azmyth defends himself by saying that people know who he is, what he stands for, and his word is impeccable, and he’ll push everyone as hard and far as he can. He makes some comment about the loss of his crew and captainship, that it didn’t matter, that their memories are priceless. Several folks look confused. Jay stands up and says they lost because Azmyth made a mistake.
Cheryl says she is upset that she pulled her weight, didn’t make a mistake and tried to be full of teamwork, and Nessa says no way - when she was an officer she angered off a lot of people by setting herself apart from the crew. Jupiter stands up for Cheryl, and declares it unfair that she should pay Joe Don’s price.
Joe Don says that clearly the ship isn’t as happy as Louie thinks, because he’s an angry captain, and is focused on money, and says he treated him with respect and doesn’t deserve this crap that he’s being thrown. He even tosses in an “I love you, man!” But Louie’s all you ain’t getting my bud light… (Kudo’s to those who catch the reference! which is not what Louie said at all, but my little addition.)
Louie REALLY says it’s not fair, he’s right, and whoever is cut adrift can blame him, that’s why the captain is always a marked man.
It’s time to vote. After the ballots are cast, the highest bidder for the Pardon will be announced, and then the votes will be read.
CUE THE DRAMATIC DRUMS AND VIOLIN and the stabby sounds of each ballot being impaled!
(So TOTALLY my favorite part!)
Seven Pirates - Seven ballots and a royal pardon. Let’s see what they’ve done…
The highest bidder for the Royal Pardon out of five bids is Joe Don, who paid $7000 for it. He has to pay up immediately, right there, and takes possession of it, though it must change hands again before the next Pirates Court.
There are no ballots for mutiny.
Joe Don, who has the Pardon, spent $7k on a pardon he did not need. The votes are 4-3, and Cheryl is told: “The Royal Pardon would have saved your neck. Instead, your voyage is over.”
Louie cuts her adrift on the rickety little raft with its little lantern and camera crew nearby…

Cheryl is proud that she didn’t succumb to the backstabbing and the lying, and that makes her happy. She didn’t even bid for the pardon, because if they want her gone, she’ll go.
Next week!
Nessa and Sean butt heads and a secret loan changes everything!
Pirates, Pirate Masters, Cameron Daddo, CBS, Mark Burnett, treasure, Picton Castle, ship, mutiny



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