Watching Survivor

“You guys are dumber then you look!”

And there he is - Jeff is flying over the stunning pictures in Palau as he points out the 10 Fans about to share the adventure of a lifetime. He introduces them - and points out the faves rowing in from the other side of the island. James is so (gorgeous) cute “I should be on the fan side! Seeing Yau and Ozzy? That’s crazy!” Of course Fairplay considers his last game perfect - except that he LOST. duh.

Jeff invites the Fans in - in the pouring rain. Jeff clues them in, and invites the Faves out one at a time and introduces them one at a time. Applause for all of them - loudest for Ozzy, James and Yau-man, of course… and then there’s Fairplay who comes out to smattering of applause, and OOOOOOOOHS and groans with his “Will lie for food” and dressed like Jeff. Funny! Jeff slams back at him with a “I’m impressed you want to rise above your current life.” nice.

The Fans are now tribe Airai and the Faves are tribe Malakal - both of which will take me most of the season to learn to spell. hah. I’ll figure it out just about time for the merge. Anyway…

Jeff tells them that just across the water there are boats with maps - and two individual immunity idols, one for each tribe. You can only play them the first time you go to Tribal Council. “You can go anytime you want” he says, and they’re off, running and swimming and headed through the pouring rain to the boats and idols. Erik’s a madman in the water - he beat Ozzy, but can’t find the idol.

Fairplay grabs one, but it was the wrong boat - and Yau races him to the other boat and TACKLES Fairplay to get the idol! HAHAHAH! Kathleen saunters up to pick up the idol after saying she didn’t know what was going on, and Yau says “JUST PICK UP THAT!” hahaha.

Fairplay is pissed, of course, and all “Even I wouldn’t tackle someone. Yau-man’s not nice! Soon as that idols gone, see you later, bucko!” And they’re off, paddling toward their new homes.

We see the Fans arrive on their beach and start to get to know each other on the Airai beach. Instantly someone is like “Gross, Johnny Fairplay!” The fans say they have the advantage, because they know the Faves - and the Faves don’t know them. They start to clear a place out to build a shelter, and Kathy asks if Chet is ok with being called “gay” and then adds “so do you want to be a girl?” Oh dear. She’s immediately pegged as crazy, as she also checks out Tracy’s fake boobs. Nice. They’re of course a little bummed that she got that immunity idol, because they all, already, want her to be the first to go.

At the Fave’s beach, it’s all business for Tribe Malakal. They get right to work building their shelter. Johnny says he was on the prowl, but now he has a girl at home and wants to bring home the money for her. Parvati is all over James - who appreciates the Tribe’s work ethic. Ozzy catches some food, and they agree it’s so much more pleasant then the first day last time. Parvati admits that she’s a flirt, and she and James are already hitting it off - and just typing that makes me want to throw up a little bit. Then she gave him crabs. Ok, she gave him A crab on their walk, and James is falling for this hook line and sinker. Le sigh. Ozzy and Amanda are not far behind in the flirty-ness, and Eliza has noticed the two couples that are all cuddled up together in their shelter.

Darkness falls and the Fans are still trying to get their shelter built, just as a storm rolls. Kathy complains about the downpour that came and poured and didn’t stop, she’s in tears and it sucks! (How did this woman get cast?)

Eliza, Yau, Jonathan and Ami decide to make an alliance, though they know there’s another foursome - the two couples (man.. WHY?! ahem.) Jonathan wants to bring in Fairplay, but Eliza isn’t sure. Meanwhile, Parvati and Ozzy approach Fairplay to vote out Eliza at first chance because they know they shouldn’t trust her. (Yet…they’re trusting Fairplay?) Though Ozzy knows they need Fairplay, but doesn’t completely trust him. (Ya think!?)

Right after that, Fairplay goes and tells the other four what’s up. And where the heck is Cirie during all this? Jonathan figures Fairplay is a gem to keep around because everyone knows he’s a slimeball. Nice. Fairplay, of course, is overly confident. “They believe what I say - have they not watched this show before?!”

Yau-man starts fire with a drop of water on his glasses, the sun, and coconut husks. They’re fed and confident - I sense a loss coming up…

It’s time for the first challenge! The Faves brag about having shelter, fire, food and full bellies. The fans say they don’t believe it, and Johnny says “You guys are dumber then you look” to some laughter, and a shrug off from the fans. The challenge - put together the wheels for the cart, drag the card through obstacles - breaking down fences to a sand pit where they have to dig up the planks to finish the bridge, drag the card over the bridge to the end, take the wheels off. Then put the puzzle pieces of the wheels into place to complete the turnstile, spin it to lift the basket to light the flame. First one there wins immunity and flint.

While it was fun to see Eliza get smacked in the face as the Faves ran into a tree - it’s clear that they cannot communicate clearly. They’re behind, while the Fans push their way through the obstacle. They catch up at the sand pit, and Erik throws sand into the Faves pit to distract them (cute!) - the Fans are first over the bridge, and despite a wipeout, they make it to the turnstile first, take off the wheels and get the turnstile together and spinning.

Despite getting closer - the Fans are working together why better then the Faves, and n the end, the overconfident Faves are bested by the Fans! Fans win Immunity!

The Faves look stunned, and head back to camp. Once there, they start doing the ‘I should stay because’ routine, as they try to figure out who to vote off. Jonathan knows that the fans were so excited, that they simply had more heart. No shame in trying their best and losing. They’ll do better. Johnny says he’s good for morale and entertainment. He feels he’s in control of the game because he’s playing both groups of four - Cirie is a wild card, and he doesn’t even mention he.

On a walk with Parvati though, he starts talking about his girlfriend - who, at the time, was 7 months pregnant. He gets emotional, and maybe I’m jaded, but I feel like he’s trying to hard to prove he’s a good guy, a nice guy, a responsible guy. He basically tells everyone to vote him off, while Parvati thinks this is a good plan, to have him tell everyone that then vote off Eliza. We don’t see anyone talk to Cirie though - so there’s a flaw in the plan no one seems to notice…

Ami is suspicious of Fairplay’s motives, and thinks it might be a trick.

Time for Tribal Council, where they light their torches for the first time. Jeff goes straight to Fairplay and asks him how things went when they got to camp. Johnny says it was ‘cake’ and their problem was overconfidence. Eliza says that reputations definitely play a part in the game. Back to Johnny who agrees he has the biggest rep, and Fairplay says that people were surprised that he was ‘nice’ - the real Fairplay, and says he’s not completely there, mentally, because of the impending birth of his baby, that’s changed his head. Jeff doesn’t fall for it - and Johnny says last time he learned to be an asshole, maybe this time he learns to be a better dad - his heads messed up. Yau-Man is thinking it’s a trick, but Ozzy doesn’t seem to think so. Fairplay says he isn’t trying to put on a show. Jonathan says he’s asking for votes, and since Johnny wants to go home, he’s going home. Jeff says “It’s a quit.” Johnny says it’s not a quit.

Time to vote, and with no surprise, Johnny Fairplay is the first to be voted off, and he is so unanimously. (Johnny voted “I ‘heart’ Ozzy”) He asks for, and receives a hug from Jeff before he goes. Johnny of course says everyone was eating out of his hand, but this time people like him and he’s a responsible adult “What’s going on in the world?”

Next week: the fans are in turmoil, the rules have changed for exile island, and two castaways have a night to remember.